How Believing In The Myth Of ‘The One' Is Damaging Your Relationships

US-based relationship counsellor Rachel Davis explains how harmful searching for the ‘perfect’ partner can be.

- Paisley Gilmour

Have you been searching for The One ever since you started dating? It’s totally understandable if you have; after all, it’s a concept that’s been rammed down our throats by (most) romance novels, movies, and love songs since the dawn of time. And, according to a recent research from relate.org. uk and eHarmony.com, under 35s (one in five) are the most likely age group to believe in the concept of The One. But, when you really think about it, it’s a pretty harmful idea. Rachel Davis, relationships counsellor of relate.org. uk, agrees that believing you will one day find The One is damaging. She even says it will stop you from enjoying a great relationship. Here, Rachel explains why it’s all a myth.

IT MAKES PEOPLE WONDER IF THE GRASS IS GREENER

Rachel says, “Believing there’s just one person out there for you can lead people in otherwise good relationships to wonder if the grass is greener. They may worry they’re with the wrong person. It’s normal to find other people attractive, and doesn’t necessarily mean you’re with the wrong person. When you meet somebody new, you might think they’re perfect, but often we project our fantasies of the perfect partner onto them, only to feel disappointed when they turn out to be different to how we imagined.”

IT’S TOO FATALISTIC