The Big Five-Oh!

I haven’t even had a decent mid-life crisis yet… may be that’s what i need.

- Dom Joly

So it finally happened. I was filming something and somebody handed over a form for me to fill in. It had a curious question on it: “How old will you be at your next birthday?”

“Fifty…” I answered, and there it was. Written down in black and white (well, blue actually). I am going to be 50. How the hell did that happen? I know “you’re only as old as you feel”, “age is just a number”, “life begins at 50…” etc, but seriously – how the hell did I get to 50? I remember when people who were 50 were really old and decrepit, and took ages to cross roads, and wore red trousers, and snarled at young people. That’s not me.

OK… I have considered getting a bed-pan because it now appears that I need to pee twice a night, in the middle of the night, whether I’ve had anything to drink or not. And I suppose I do snarl at young people but, in my defence, they are bloody annoying with all their tight trousers and silly opinions and listening to hippety-hop.