How To Set And Maintain Healthy Boundaries As A Leader

For both leaders and employees, the workplace (physical and virtual) is rife with emotional complexities, making it essential for all stakeholders to learn key communication and interpersonal skills.

- Julia Kerr-Henkel

Arguably, one of the most important skills in any relationship is the ability to create and maintain healthy boundaries. Without boundaries, misunderstandings and resentments can go unchecked. That said, this is a new and murky area for many of us to explore.

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT?

To begin with, we need to define boundaries and why they are so important. One simple definition is that boundaries in relationship terms are about naming and making clear to others what’s okay and what’s not okay… and why. Failure to set boundaries can quickly lead to resentment, frustration and sometimes deep hurt. Why are we reluctant to set boundaries - and why does it feel so hard? Setting boundaries is vulnerable and brave work. For most of us, asking for what you want and what you don’t want can feel risky - plus holding others to account for their behaviours is equally gutsy (and daunting)!

Notably, when people are asked why they hesitate to set boundaries, the number one answer that emerged from research conducted by the Brené Brown Education & Research Group was: “I don’t want to make people angry, disappoint others, or make them stop liking me.”

The number two reason, related to the first, was the following: “I don’t know how to set boundaries without sounding selfish or unlikeable.”

Yet when people are asked to describe or explain the consequence of not setting boundaries, the overwhelming response is resentment, followed by anger, followed by frustration… and the responses sometimes go so far as to include deep emotional and psychological pain.