What Does It Mean to Be ‘Tough'?

If you think that success looks like ruthless competition, Terry Crews wants you to know there’s another way.

- DAN BOVA

Why does my family not like me right now?

That was the gut-wrenching question Terry Crews found himself asking one night, 12 years ago. The professional athlete, actor, and entrepreneur had worked himself to the bone-and in certain ways, he'd gotten everything he wanted. He'd been married for decades and had five beautiful kids. After a seven-year career in the NFL, he'd found success on the big and small screen, starring in TV shows like Everybody Hates Chris and movies like Get Smart and The Longest Yard. Now he's also the CEO of virtual production company Amen&Amen, host of America's Got Talent, and designs furniture for Bernhardt Design.

But on that night in 2010, Crews was forced to admit that everything was not okay. Painful experiences from his past were catching up with him. Crews had suffered through an abusive childhood in Flint, Michigan, and toiled against the headwinds of racism. He'd competed mercilessly to make it to the top, never allowing himself to look backward or process his traumas. He was afraid that any display of “weakness” would bring down the whole house of cards. But as he writes in his new book, Tough: My Journey to True Power, the fight had taken a terrible mental and physical toll, leading him to exhaustion, addiction, and decision-making that nearly destroyed everything he worked so hard to achieve.

Here, Crews offers up his own experience as a workaholic and recovering “tough guy.” He explains how, in the decade-plus since his personal reckoning, he's found another path to success.

We're often told it's hard to succeed while showing "weakness." What does the word "tough” mean to you now, in that context?