Cut and thrust of sailing

The best ways to call a halt to proceedings

- Dave Selby

I’ve been thinking of fitting a bow thruster to my Sailfish 18, and a stern thruster too, for good measure. These will be cunningly fashioned by repurposing battery operated handheld smoothie blenders, with a manual egg-whisk as back up, as outlined in my forthcoming academic paper which is already whipping up considerable enthusiasm in Sailfish circles.

You see, the problem is that sailing is a bit like riding a bicycle: it’s really difficult to do in water. And in both cases by the far the hardest discipline to master is the art of stopping.

Of course, when you come to a halt on a bicycle you’re quite likely to sink, even if you put your feet down, which explains the number of bicycles found in canals.

But stopping a boat is altogether more advanced and varied in its opportunities for calamity as, hitherto, it has generally been achieved by hitting things. The most popular options include land, wind farms, oil rigs, ships, more expensive yachts with white ensigns, the banks of the Suez Canal, icebergs, Wally the walrus, bridges, navigation buoys or, in rare and extreme cases, a pontoon. This explains why sailors such as the legendary Hiscocks and Sir Robin Knox-Johnston avoided stopping altogether.