Nurture Parenting Magazine - Family Meditation eZine ~ Issue 7

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I was about to write “My son is growing up so fast” but stopped after ‘My son’. This made me think about the term “my” and where it comes from. William, at 27 months, is in the “mine” stage: “My bike,” “My ball,” “My this, my that.” I wondered where he learnt it.

I realised I often say “mummy’s car,” “daddy’s car,” “mummy’s knife,” and “William’s knife” (he has a small knife, I have a bigger one). Our language emphasises possession. This contrasts with the expectation that young children must share, often leading to conflicts.

A Facebook post about African children holding hands to share fruit resonated with me. Even at 27 months, I had unintentionally taught William about ownership rather than communal sharing.

A 2003 study of a central African tribe showed they are more indulgent with toddlers. Mothers and older siblings often let the toddler have an attractive object. This aligns with their cultural values of collectivism, and the “terrible twos” are not reported in these families. Children transition smoothly from grabby toddlers to cooperative children.

While young children may not want to share, the upset is caused by our handling of it. During playdates, it’s challenging. Surrounding yourself with like-minded parents or discussing these issues beforehand might help. Another idea is to leave toys at home and enjoy nature instead.

Back to ‘My son’ – he is not ‘mine’. He is his own person. So, back to the start: William is growing up so quickly!

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**Whilst the parenting articles in each issue, are timeless, the branding is not lol! We rebranded from issue 22, regardless, enjoy the gift of Nurture!

Kristy xo