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LET COUNSELLOR KEREN LIGHTEN YOUR LOAD

- KEREN

People don't care

Q I really like supporting others and listening to their problems. Recently, though, I've had a few issues myself and I've noticed that no one is that interested, even when I raise specific points. They never ask how things are going, they just talk to me about themselves. I feel invisible. Name and address withheld

A It sounds like you've become everyone's emotional anchor and they're used to you being there for them. Most relationships fall into a pattern, and it looks like you are often acting as the 'carer' and others as the 'cared for'. What you're asking is for these roles to be more flexible, depending on individual needs. Think of someone in your family or friendship group you can talk to, and tell them how you're feeling and what you need. Once they know, I'm sure they'll listen and support you. Also, ask them how you can change things a bit with others and engage their help to do this when you're with other people. Over time, the situation will change.

I've lost my focus - now what?