Forging new FRIENDSHIPS

As Oddfellows celebrates its Friendship Month this September, we speak to two women whose lives have been transformed for the better by the friendly society

- SARAH WHITELEY

'For the first time, I'm able to focus on myself'

Kate Kaur, 61, is retired and lives with her daughter, Suki, in Nottingham.

I've spent my whole life working or caring. I owned a fish and chip for 35 years and was a single mum to my two children, Suki, now 39, and Satvir, 41. Then, in 2012, my mum Gurmej moved in with me. She was in her 70s and frail, and I wanted her close by.

When I decided to close my shop during lockdown, it was for Mum's safety. I spent all of my time looking after her, who by that point was blind and disabled. So when she passed away in June 2022, aged 84, I was lost, completely adrift. I'd imagined when I retired and my time was finally my own, I'd find loads of things to do, but the grief was too all-consuming. I barely left the house.

Then, after three months, I saw an advert online for Oddfellows. Intrigued, I called up and spoke to Karen, the secretary for my district. She explained that September was their Friendship Month, and they had a walk booked in the Attenborough Nature Reserve.

Without thinking, I found myself agreeing to go along.

And I was so glad I did, because as soon as I arrived, Karen made a beeline for me, gave me a huge hug and made me feel instantly welcome. She wasn't the only one.

As we started walking, one person fell into step alongside me, making easy conversation, asking me about myself. And when they drifted off, someone else would replace them. They were all so friendly, that in the pub afterwards, I got out my purse and paid my membership to join straight away.