Too Soft to Hate, Too Heavy to Love

When you're dating an adult who forgot to grow up.

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You know that guy. He's got that crooked smile, the boyish charm, the “I just go with the flow” energy. He's easy to fall for and impossible to build a life with. You ask him to take something seriously and he laughs it off. You cry, and he says he can't handle “heavy stuff.” He never remembers to pay bills on time, but he'll remember your favourite song. He'll say he loves you, but disappear when it's time to actually show up.

You're not dating a bad guy. You’re just dating a man-child.

And if you’re being honest, you saw the signs early on — the lack of follow-through, the allergy to responsibility, the emotional deflections dressed up as humour. But something about that mix of vulnerability and playfulness tugged at your heart in ways you didn't expect. You thought he just needed the right kind of love. Yours.

Spoiler: he didn’t need your love. He needed to grow up. And those are two very different journeys.

No Warning Signs Attached With Children

Man-children don’t come with warning signs. They come with charm. They don’t shout or manipulate. They forget. They avoid. They pout. And eventually, they start to disappear inside your life while you carry both their emotions and your own — silently, then bitterly.

It always starts the same. He’s sweet. Disarming. You feel like he trusts you with parts of him no one else has seen. But what you'll eventually realise is that you weren't the first person he crumbled in front of. You're just the latest to mistake crumbling for closeness.