The experts

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Help! I’ve had a sex-toy mishap

Q One of my Valentine’s Day presents from my man was a wonderful new vibrator. It has 15 speeds and a cute ‘spotlight’ to illuminate ‘down below’ so he can see what he’s doing! We’ve already had lots of fun with it. But last weekend when he was away I went overboard in pleasuring myself. I really hurt myself and, since then, it’s been very uncomfortable to pee. Have I taken things too far?

SUSAN SAYS 

A I wouldn’t call your self-pleasuring ‘taking things too far’! But you may well have bruised your genitals or triggered an infection of some sort. It’s no cause for serious worry – you’ve almost certainly not done permanent damage and the pain will disappear over time. But to make sure, I would visit your GP or local sexual health clinic. They will check that you’ve not injured yourself, and can prescribe medication if you need it.

I don’t trust him in bed

Q My dad was abusive and we were always moving house to get away from him. This has made me very insecure – I keep thinking that once a man’s had sex with me, he’ll treat me badly. I’ve now been in a relationship for four years with a wonderful man, but still don’t trust him in bed and can’t seem to change how I feel. Tell me what to do so I don’t drive him away!

SUSAN SAYS