Life after BETRAYAL

Broken trust can take on many forms, but there's always one common denominator – a feeling of hurt that can last for decades

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When you hear the word “betrayal”, is infidelity the first thought that comes to mind? That punch-in-the-gut emotional blow when life as you know it changes forever.

Yet these feelings of betrayal aren’t always caused by one catastrophically painful event or a romantic partner - sometimes the disloyalty and broken trust can be inflicted by a number of small hurts that build up over time, from where you least expect it.

This could be the confusion that might have been felt as a child when left out of a game, the teenage angst when some innermost secrets were spilt by a best friend or the crushing disappointment that was felt after finding out that someone you trusted had lied to you.

Sadly, this “death by a thousand cuts” through life can have just as much of a lasting effect as a case of infidelity. And these seemingly small betrayals can, in some ways, be more insidious than large ones, says therapist Danielle Baron.

"This is because they can be easy to dismiss or rationalise away, but can still cause significant emotional pain," she says. "Plus, they can be made worse by those on the outside being more unsympathetic compared to a larger, more 'socially accepted' betrayal."

Left unchecked, these feelings of hurt and resentment can fester. Whatever the hurt you experience, it can affect your health and wellbeing for years to come, if you let it.

The trouble with friends