The Untouchables

I AM WRITING this having just completed my sixth week of IV treatments for a rare blood and bone cancer. Our thoughts about who we are in this world can all come crashing down due to sickness, accidents, loss of employment, or any other events outside our control. My “I am’s” are in disarray.

- PAUL SUTHERLAND

I have to protect my immune system, so I don’t eat meals, play board games, or watch the Hallmark Channel with my wife and four youngest kids. Side effects of the treatments make it hard to commit to being around for normal stuff like fixing dinner, getting kids to events, or helping with homework. Not to mention I need to stay in my bubble—masks and lots of handwashing are less effective than staying in the bedroom alone.

Thankfully I have a super supportive, kind, capable, loving, and committed wife, older children who call me nearly every day, and four rambunctious younger boys who can help get my mind off things. I also have an extensive group of supportive friends, so I am in good shape and just lucky.

As I have time to think about how my “I am’s” are changing, I ponder the caste systems of India. Years ago, my wife Amy and I met a tuk-tuk driver named Kuldie on our first day in New Delhi. He became our guide for our week there. We invited Kuldie and his family to Sunday brunch at our hotel. Since he was always punctual, we wondered why Kuldie was not at the restaurant promptly at 10 am. Then we got a call from him. “Sir, they won’t let us in the gate. You need to come.” I ran down to the gate to meet Kuldie.