Seat of learning that keeps you working

I COME from a family who had what my grandmother called "duck's disease". It's where the unfortunate sufferer has a bum that's rather nearer the ground, and one that can be a tad chunky.

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> Sea urchins, like zebra fish, relocated their brain to the backside through evolution

Quack quack! That's me! Being short doesn't help. I wear this description with pride though, because I read something recently that means I'm probably bright. I mean, exceptionally, Mensa, bright, if the size of my derriere is anything to go by.

Because scientists have discovered that our brains used to be where our bums are now. My claim to brilliance may be somewhat tenuous but I'm sticking with it. You see, there's a gene network that has been passed down through generations over hundreds of millions of years and clearly those genes made a beeline for me.

I'm glossing over the fact that this network began about 560 million years ago. Time flies, as we all know. What's a few million years these days, anyway? Cambridge University researchers haven't yet been in touch, but it's only a matter of time before they realise what a fantastic specimen of brains-in-the-bum they have living in Devon. Mastermind will be flocking to interview me. NASA will want me to help with their space programme and I'm in serious danger of being kidnapped by the Chinese to help escalate their scientific discoveries.