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When your family is far away, create one from people around you

The Straits Times

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October 11, 2024

Sharing my home with strangers has helped me find a sense of kinship and community.

- Chua Mui Hoong

When your family is far away, create one from people around you

I was on my way out of the house to the library to start work on an article when the three-year-old girl who lives with us stopped me in my tracks.

She called me by name to get my attention. "I want the eggs," she said, brandishing the carrot she had munched on like a weapon. She ran to me with her arms outstretched. I bent and braced my body to pick her up, mentally reminding myself to continue my gym routine to build core and upper body strength, so I can continue to carry her a while longer.

We went over to the hens' nesting box and I set her down carefully. I held the carrot for her, while she lifted the lid of the nesting box. There were four eggs inside. She picked them up and cradled them in her arms, marching into the house with the confidence of a well-loved child who knows she belongs.

I often get waylaid leaving the house to walk to the car. This morning, the little girl wanted me to push her on the tyre swing in the garden. I started with a few gentle pushes. "A big one," she requested and squealed in delight as I sent the tyre spinning. A few rounds of tyre spins, a hug and farewell kiss later, I was finally released to go my way.

As winter makes way for spring here in Australia, the warmer weather has been lifting my spirits. It has been some 15 months since I relocated from Singapore to Perth. While I am far from my Singapore family and friends, I am relieved and grateful to discover that I am gaining a different kind of family here in Perth.

FAMILY TIES ABROAD As a Chinese Singaporean, I was brought up with a strong sense of family. Growing up, my parents told me that family was family; and neighbours and others were outsiders - strangers one should be civil to, but who could not really be trusted.

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