When your child faces a setback

As parents, we can help switch their focus to viewing disappointment as research material for a stronger comeback

- Michael Han

Before my daughter took the A-level exams in 2024, she told us she might not do well. She said she needed more time to prepare.

At that time, we did not make much of it. We thought she was just overthinking. If the past had been any indication, there were times she did well despite her own less-than-rosy prognostication. We told ourselves we would cross that bridge when we came to it.

When it was time to collect her results, she insisted on going alone. At first, she said she would rather not show us her results. We respected that and did not probe further. She needed space and we understood.

We later discovered that she managed to pass all her subjects and her scores were slightly above average.

As our daughter aspires to be a nurse, we told her to apply for the schools she wanted. “You never know,” we said. So she applied to the Bachelor of Science in Nursing programme at the Singapore Institute of Technology.

Then came the dreaded outcome: She was turned down.

We knew it was nothing more than cause and effect. If your grades do not match up, you can expect doors to be closed. We have to accept that and move on.

Parenting is like operating a Swiss Army knife. You are expected to be equipped with the right skills and responses to deal with each child in different situations.