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Moving out as a young adult - it's not personal

The Straits Times

|

September 22, 2024

As much as I love my parents, dwelling in your familial home as an adult is difficult. A place of your own can be integral to self-care and growth.

- Faye Ng Yu Ci

I return home after a long day of work at the hospital. "Dinner's ready," mum says as she breezes by into the kitchen. Dad sits in a corner watching animal videos on YouTube at full volume.

I go into my room and change out of my scrubs. As per mum's instructions, these go into a separate pile for de-germing with Dettol before joining the rest of the family's laundry.

"You forgot to switch off the lights when you went out today," my mum remarks as she picks out chilli padi with her chopsticks. "And remember what I told you about the charging wire? Hook it over the armrest of the couch - don't just leave it dangling on the floor like that."

"Yes, mum," I sigh.

After doing the dishes, I go into my room and try to meditate. The screeching of macaws from the living room reminds me of my earthly existence.

As much as I love my parents, there are times at home when I have to involuntarily shut my eyes for a moment and breathe.

Living with your parents as a grown adult is difficult - ask any young person and they would agree. As we shed our skins from our plump pubescent days and hurtle towards an age of aspirational independence and solidifying personhood, it is only natural that we demand greater autonomy over our daily routines, living preferences and lifestyles.

In many countries, translocation is part and parcel of young adulthood. People uproot themselves from their home towns to attend university in big cities and frequently shift between states in search of better jobs or opportunities.

Singapore is unique as a society on the moving-out front, with 97 per cent of unmarried individuals between the ages of 15 and 34 residing with their parents as at 2013, a statistic unheard of in other countries.

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