VAT 25: 'Who Killed Cock Robin?'

SOME of our more bloodthirsty readers will remember the rather gruesome children’s Nursery rhyme, Who killed Cock Robin?

- DOUGLAS GIBSON

The amusing claims and counter-claims of some of the minor and very minor representatives of the people in Parliament about having killed the VAT increase reminded me recently of the carryings-on of his feathered friends, either lamenting or bragging about the death of Cock Robin.

A bastardised version (by me and not by Al), of the nursery rhyme, published in 1744, might read as follows:

“Who killed Cock Robin?”

“I? said Athol, the sparrow, “I’m very good with my tiny little bow and arrow.”

“Who saw it die?”

“Me, me, me; said the puffer wearing his Trumpian cap, “MakeSouthAfrica-Black (Like Me).”

“Who caught his blood?”

Beasley the Dikkop, now renamed Thicknee, beamed. “I knew immediately it was blood and told my leaders so they could claim the blood.

“Who'll make the shroud?”

The Riser simpered, “Oh, don't worry about that. I'll zap it in a Zibi can?

“Who'll do the eulogy?”