BE THAT DAD

Fatherhood requires strength and vulnerability, routine and spontaneity. It asks you to be not merely a provider and protector, but also a playmate, a storyteller, a fixer of broken toys and broken hearts.

- RICARDO T. PAMINTUAN

John Mayer might not be a parenting guru, but when he sang "Fathers, be good to your daughters" back in 2004, he was definitely onto something. He added, "Girls become lovers who turn into mothers" while "Boys will be strong and boys soldier on, but boys would be gone without warmth."

The man gave us a life hack hidden in a love song, one that every husband, father, and future grandfather should take seriously. Mayer later shared that he wrote Daughters after splitting up with a girl who had father-related trust issues. That track wasn't just a melody—it was a warning, and a reminder.

The truth is, daughters—and sons—don't stay little forever. One day, they're bouncing on your lap, giggling through pigtails or bowl cuts, then the next, they're someone's partner, parent, boss, or wisecracking source of comfort and chaos. How we treat them now, as fathers, sets the tone for how they'll navigate love, family, and relationships in the years ahead.

If you want your daughter to know what a good partner looks like, be one. If you want your son to become one, show him how it's done. If you want your daughter to expect respect, kindness and patience, demonstrate these at home. If you want your son to grow up offering the same, lead by example. And if you want your daughter to marry someone who opens doors for her, shields her from the rain, walks on the danger side, does his share of parenting and house chores, doesn't mysteriously and conveniently forget anniversaries, and—most importantly—stays loyal, true, and interesting, well... take notes. Your son is watching, too.

I think one of the best ways of showing this is by loving their mother out loud. "Thinking out loud" à la Ed Sheeran may not be enough (though I serenaded my wife on our 25th anniversary with this song), so you have to demonstrate it regularly, in ways that don't necessarily involve grand gestures.