A THOUSAND BIRTHS OR A THOUSAND FUNERALS: WHY EVERY VERSION OF YOU MATTERS

There’s no escaping change, and it can be scary or painful, but that is why we have to treat ourselves with as much grace as we can.

- PATRICIA MANARANG

On extremely rare moments of quiet, I sit with myself and wonder how I got here. I look at my friends and think the same. Nothing has changed; we're all still together making the same jokes and references from 10 years ago. But at the same time, everything has changed; our dreams are different and our perspectives have matured.

There's a Tik Tok trend circulating of friends staring strangely at each other after realizing they've been present through all their life stages. I saw my bestest friends at 11 years old, playing tag in the classroom. I saw them at 15, all awkward limbs and pimpled faces. I saw them at 18, entering college with the false bravado of young adulthood.

I'm seeing them now at 24, forging their own paths while exploring the world.

When we think of our past selves, our first instinct is to cringe. Why did I do my eyebrows like that? Why was I so into that guy? When will I realize I don't need bangs? There's a lot of relief when I see who I am right now. I'm far from who I want to be, but thank goodness I'm not where I was this time last year.

Some of my friends, though, think they've regressed and they are past their peak. They long for the people they were years ago.