I'm far happier now than I was being a 'smug married'

Stacey Duguid has embraced being a divorced single mum after leaving an unhappy relationship. She ponders her past obsession with getting hitched and questions a new survey that suggests marriage staves off low mood and depression

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A problem shared is a problem halved. Well, until it’s not, and a problem shared becomes the reason your marriage blows up and why you’re suddenly regretting not listening to your mum when she said, “Dear, do you really need a ceremony that costs more than the deposit for a decent sized apartment in London?” Mum was right. You could’ve had a decent-sized flat as a pension investment instead of a honeymoon “to remember” and a fiveyear credit card bill to pay off.

Apologies if I sound annoyed by the marketing machine otherwise known as marriage; that’s because I am. Not only does it leave young couples strung out and broke before they’ve even set off to build a life together, but I bet at no point before the big day did either partner have “The Chat”. As for “The Chat”. I’ll come onto that in a moment, but first, the propaganda – the latest of which comes in the form of a survey that reports that married people are less likely than their single counterparts to be depressed. Lol. The survey of 120,000 people from seven countries shows that no matter where people lived, those who were married showed fewer signs of depression.

On the surface, it would certainly seem The Marrieds have it all sorted, especially during the night when the worry monster pays us singletons an unwanted visit – 3am, eyes wide open, fear coursing through our nervous system, it feels like we’re having a heart attack. Not The Marrieds who, after a mere pat to their right, confirm, phew, their beloved spouse is right there beside them. Cosy in the knowledge everything will be OK because they are not alone and off they fall back to sleep. Granted, being single during stressful periods can feel isolating and nothing short of grim, but let me tell you, that’s nothing compared to trying to exist within a lonely marriage.