Being ginger has its perks...sunbathing isn't one of them

It wasn’t until I left school that the first perks of being ginger finally raised their head. Since then, I’ve never taken them for granted, though admittedly, benefits are limited to an occasional free drink and the ambivalent satisfaction of being a subcategory on most adult websites. Throw a Scottish accent in the mix and Americans can barely contain themselves.

- ALICE FLORENCE ORR

But despite these life-changing advantages, which really do rival a state pension in terms of long-term financial security, the obvious drawbacks to being a redhead remain. Chronic flushing. Low tolerance for spice. Enough precancerous freckles to constitute their own cosmos. So when my sister suggested brunch “al fresco” in the middle of Clapham, I should have simply said no — any sane person of my complexion would.

I’ve been described by well-meaning people as going a particular shade of apricot when exposed to sunlight, much like a bashful vampire, and although there is nothing quite as chic as a redhead lounging in the sun, clad in a men’s shirt with a cigarette hanging off her lips, it isn’t long before the tickle in her throat can no longer be blamed on the tar.

At the very least, a quick glance at the weather forecast would have saved me the humiliation of turning up in a turtleneck. After forgetting my sunglasses and going halfway there before realising my mistake, the dreaded sweats started long before I’d had the chance to note the prices on the menu. My sister was wearing a sundress and sipping on a smoothie that probably cost more than my hourly wage. She was a glorious shade of honey. I could feel my hair sticking to the back of my neck.