Tony used to be revered by Labour. Now he was locked in the No 10 cellar with Pat the Hat

Polling day. A day when power reverts temporarily to the people. A day when newspapers send photographers to snap the cutest dogs outside church halls and schools. The rules of purdah apply, so switch on the TV or radio and you'll be spared the sound of politicians talking.

- John Crace

But not everywhere was totally silent. Press your ear against the front door of No 10 and you could hear some muffled shouts. Walk inside and you would find the cellar door padlocked. Keir Starmer was determined this particular occupant was not going to be allowed out for a good few days.

Behind the cellar door, sobbing in the dark, sat Tony Blair. Unable to quite believe it had come to this. Tony was used to being heard. When he talked, the world was meant to listen. Only for the last 24 hours he had been held prisoner.

"It's for your own good," said Pat McFadden. Tony had known he was in trouble the moment he heard the voice of Starmer's enforcer-in-chief. Even the terrifying Morgan McSweeney would have been preferable to "Pat the Hat". McFadden had only been known to smile once in all his years in parliament.