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Older couples who live apart enjoy mental health benefits of marriage but without the 'frictions'

The Guardian

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December 03, 2024

It's known as living apart, together. Being in a serious relationship while remaining at separate addresses has long been a lifestyle more associated with people starting out in life.

- Chris Osuh

Older couples who live apart enjoy mental health benefits of marriage but without the 'frictions'

But over-60s who date like people in their 20s enjoy better mental well-being, the largest study of its kind has found.

Couples who meet in later life and decide against moving in together experience mental health benefits comparable to marriage or cohabiting - but without the "frictions", "intense day-to-day interactions" and care commitments that come with those relationships, the research showed.

They also avoid the "legal obligations and institutional binding" that make it harder to get out of an unhappy marriage, according to the study from Prof Yang Hu at Lancaster University and Dr Rory Coulter at University College London.

Challenging the perception that older people prefer more "conventional" arrangements like marriage and cohabitation, the research found that when over-60s form a new relationship, living "apart together" is the most popular destination - 10 times more likely than marriage.

The actor Helena Bonham Carter and the director Tim Burton lived separately - next door to one another - during their 13-year relationship. They met when Burton, 66, directed Carter, 58, in 2001's Planet of the Apes.

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