My mum won't let me have a smartphone. Is she being unfair?

My mum has always been protective, and I fear it is destroying my social life because I haven't grown up with much access to social media. I don't mean to say it's OK to be exposed to social media at a young age, but it needs to be controlled in a certain way.

- Annalisa Barbieri

I had a flip phone until the middle of secondary school - I haven't had a TikTok or Snapchat streak with anyone because I never learned how it works. It feels like my mum is purposely doing this to damage me.

My parents are divorced, and my dad thought I should have a flip phone until it was getting in the way of my friendships, which I suppose was reasonable enough, but no one can contradict my mum.

Is my mum just stubborn, or am I complaining too much and making a mountain out of a molehill?

You told me you are 12 in one of your emails, but then you also mention having a flip phone until the “middle of secondary school”, which would make you 13/14 in the UK, so I'm confused. But I do know school systems can vary and our readership is global, so I'm talking to you as if you are 12. Your age is important here because you aren't allowed to go on the apps you mention, and some others, until you're 13. Plenty of people get around this, but even the people who run the apps think below 13 is too young.