I need to drop everything and get on with doing nothing, quickly

I am sitting in my office shed, marvelling that an email from a car hire company I last used six years ago feels entitled to employ the subject line DROP EVERYTHING.

- Tim Dowling

“It’s hard to imagine,” I say, “how a 20% reduction in rental rates for the month of June could be sufficient cause for anyone to suddenly abandon their present business, be it knee surgery, adoption proceedings or, in this specific case, Wordle.”

The dog, which is lying on the step in front of the open door, lifts its head to look at me.

My wife walks up to the door, leans in and hands me a small box.

“I found these in the car,” she says.

“You requested them at some point.” The box contains wooden plant labels - essentially ice lolly sticks with one pointed end - which would have served a definite purpose about three weeks ago.

“Yeah, a while back,” I say.

“Not at all,” my wife says.

I examine the box: the back bears an illustration of a plant label, stuck pointy end down into soil. On the label someone has helpfully written “Plant Name”. The accompanying instructions say: “Simply push in.”

“Can it really be that simple?” I say, looking up to find that the dog has followed my wife.