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A 7.30PM DINNER ON A SCHOOL NIGHT? MAMMA MIA!

The Guardian Weekly

|

June 27, 2025

Italian-style late family meals, bedsharing like the Germans, breaking down gender stereotypes the Icelandic way... five writers try five different European parenting styles. Will they make it out unscathed?

A 7.30PM DINNER ON A SCHOOL NIGHT? MAMMA MIA!

'We end up with two crankier-thannormal children the next day' Stuart Heritage embraces Italian family life

"Gender roles have not changed very much," says Manuela Naldini, professor of sociology of the family at the University of Turin, of the Italian method of parenting. "Certainly not as much as we would like them to have, and not to the same degree as other European countries." In practical terms, she says the result of this is that "it is seen as very important for the mother to stay with their child, especially when they are very small".

Italy, she explains, has one of the lowest marriage rates in Europe.

Because of financial constraints and high unemployment, children don't leave the parental home until they are, on average, 30 years old.

"This means that they postpone forming a couple, become parents quite old and have fewer children," says Naldini.

The state of the labour market also means men are far less likely to take parental leave. "If you do that as a father, you are seen as not a very trustworthy person," says Naldini. So typically mothers find themselves becoming the default parent. "This reinforces the gender division of household work, and the father's participation remains a little bit circumscribed, especially when the children are very young." This isn't great for progress, but it's absolutely brilliant news for me, because I am a) tasked with following the Italian way of parenting, and b) a man. As such, I think Naldini just gave me permission to slack off.

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