This Cop-Out Needs Napalm

On Sunday, I was pursued by a rogue hippo through the back streets of St Lucia and consequently missed the drama surrounding KwaZulu-Natal police commissioner General Nhlanhla Mkhwanazi's surprise announcement that the stench of corruption in the constabulary permeates the ranks all the way up to Police Minister Senzo Mchunu's well-appointed office.

- Ben Trovato

I doubt many people are shocked by his career-ending and certainly life-threatening revelation that crooked cops have white-anted the entire law enforcement organism.

Hell, I bribed a constable myself a couple of years ago. In my defence, it was late at night and I had been carousing, so my ethics were a little on the flexible side. Also, the alternative would've exposed me to having my bottom interfered with by a fighting general in the 28s.

My alleged infraction didn't seem serious enough to risk it, so the officer hopped into my car and we drove to an ATM and resolved our dispute amicably.

Nobody joins the police because they want to make a difference. They join because they get to wear a cool uniform and carry a gun, pepper spray and handcuffs, all of which can come in handy on date night.

If you plan on carving out a career in crime, there's no better place to start than in the police. You get to meet loads of like-minded people, both in and outside the service, and you can divert investigations that look as if they're heading in your direction.