AND HERE'S ONE I WROTE EARLIER...

“WRITE about what you know”, my former English teacher and great mentor Alan Harries used to tell me, and here's an example from 2012:

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Take one hungry man and one missing tomato and the scene is set for a supermarket showdown.

Before I explain, let me say that I pity my wife. Not only has she endured my private tantrums for longer than you get for murder, she's grown to know that when we're apart in the same shop and a voice over the Tannoy says: “Manager to Customer Services”, there's a good chance that I'm involved.

And so it was when I slipped away to the make-your-own-pizza bar while she bought the boring essentials of life.