Kashmir's Masculinity Trap

Men in Kashmir face growing stress and mental health challenges under societal and economic pressures.

- Irfan Jaffer

I remember a winter evening in Srinagar when a neighbour, a man in his early forties, sat with me outside a small grocery shop.

Snow had started to fall, and the street was emptying fast. He spoke about his son's school fees, his aging parents' medicines, and the job contract that might not be renewed after March.

He laughed while talking, even cracked a joke. His hands, though, would not stop shaking.

When I asked how he was doing, he paused, looked away, and said, "This is life. Men manage."

Many men live inside that sentence in Kashmir.

Mental health is often discussed as a women's issue or a youth issue, or as a problem belonging somewhere else. Men rarely appear at the center of the conversation.

From bustling towns to sleepy villages, Kashmiri men carry relentless responsibilities, and showing fear or fatigue is rarely permitted.

Patriarchy promises men authority and respect, though it comes with strict conditions. A man must earn, endure, and stay emotionally controlled. He must not break down, and ask for help.

The weight of expectation increases when jobs are rare and daily life uncertain.

Men tell me they wake with tight chests, ceaseless worry, and the feeling they can't measure up. They rarely name it anxiety or depression. Instead, they call it "pressure."