IT'S GONNA GO SOUTH!

Bank on a bore draw

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I’VE escaped the country this week – what have I missed?

Before going on holiday I rub myself all over in salt, pepper and mixed herbs. I like to think I’m a seasoned traveller.

The flight was a nightmare. I said to the air hostess: “I’m fed up with kids crying all the time, can’t you move me to another seat?” She replied: “But they’re your kids.”