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EVER-PRESENT First Division Arsenal looked on smugly whenever we were relegated and even Queens Park Rangers had the cheek to try it on one year - as if anyone gives a monkeys who comes -second.

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Through it all, we Hammers had one reply, one comeback, that ended all discussion. "The Double?" we'd say, smiling benignly. "That must have been nice. But have you ever won the World Cup?" Because we did, you know, and no one can take it away from us. West Ham, my club, won the World Cup in 1966. We had the captain, the midfield genius and *100 Words* Ever-present First Division Arsenal looked on smugly whenever we were relegated and even Queens Park Rangers had the cheek to try it on one year - as if anyone gives a monkeys who comes -second.