Unspoken rift: When founders and siblings collide in family businesses

In Sri Lanka, where reverence for parental authority runs deep, such differences can simmer silently for years until they erupt explosively when the next generation assumes power.

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Nothing tests family harmony like succession.

Many founders, often unconsciously, favour one child usually the eldest or the most visible as heir apparent. Others avoid naming a successor altogether, hoping the issue will resolve itself. Both approaches breed resentment.

Research in the Journal of Family Business Management reveals that fairness in process matters more than fairness in outcome. Siblings will accept unequal inheritance if the decision is transparent and dignified. But when succession is decided behind closed doors, bitterness lingers for life.

Another complicating factor is marriage. When siblings marry, new influences and sometimes new ambitions enter the family ecosystem. Spouses become advisers, alliances shift, and emotional boundaries blur. Studies published in Family Business Review identify spousal influence as one of the top three triggers of governance breakdowns in Asian family firms. In Sri Lankan families, in-laws can inadvertently become power brokers, shaping perceptions and loyalties. What begins as a simple disagreement over recruitment or budgeting can evolve into a feud that divides an entire household.

The cultural silence

Sri Lankan society treats family disputes as private shame. The idea of discussing family rifts publicly even for learning feels taboo. Yet, beneath polished corporate exteriors, many of our most admired founders carry immense personal pain.

Late at night, behind closed doors, they confide in spouses or lawyers: "I built this for my children, and now it's destroying us." The media celebrates their companies, but never the emotional cost. Behind the smiles at awards ceremonies are lonely patriarchs who have mastered business battles but lost the peace at home.

The emotional undercurrent