Dragons in perfect pitch

UP UNTIL I watched a preview of tonight's DRAGONS' DEN (BBC1, 8pm), I'd been thinking of applying to appear on the show myself. My plan? I'd stride into the Den and announce that I'd invented the hovercraft. "I'd like half a million quid," I'd tell the Dragons, "in return for a 1 per cent stake in my company." Just so they knew I meant business. Of course, they may have pointed out that the hovercraft had already been invented. The Dragons can be quite hot on that sort of detail. Especially the lanky one with the socks. But I'd already anticipated that reaction. My own hovercraft, I'd explain, would be a hovercraft for our times - sustainable, recyclable, plant-based and staunchly anti-racist. That would have clinched it, no question. Especially if this was one of those weeks when there were six Dragons in the Den, rather than the usual five, a business-savvy guest celeb having joined them for a one-off appearance.

- Mike Ward

I don't know if you've spotted this, but whenever they have one of these celebrity guest Dragons on the panel, the tone of the show tends to change.

With only a limited time to make an impression, these guests seem more than averagely keen to show themselves in a good light, to come across not just as money-driven but as caring, empathetic, socially responsible sorts.