Blowhard blows harder

Johnny rang with great news. I wouldn't have to wait until the end of the month, he said.

- Greg Dixon

The thing I desperately wanted from his store had turned up the day after I'd rung to enquire whether there was one in stock. Now it was, and the thing was sitting by his desk waiting for me to have a gander at it.

Unable to contain my delight, I blurted out that I'd be there that very afternoon. Huzzah, I thought, huzzah, huzzah, huzzah.

I am not sure what animates other blokes who are a bum squeak away from turning 60, but what livened up this one — and I am unashamed to say this — was a brand new leaf blower.

And not just any old leaf blower. This was a battery-powered hurricane of a leaf blower, with a promised blow force of 19.6 newtons and a maximum airflow of 225km/h.

I have no idea what newtons are - do they involve figs? - but given the 225km/h of promised puff is about 75km/h more than the peak of Cyclone Gabrielle's gales, I calculated the blower would have more than enough grunt to clean up our annual autumn leaf tsunami.

Obviously I'd be mad to not buy it, I told myself, so I did buy it that very afternoon.