LAUGHTER

THE BEST Medicine

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"Your blood pressure's up, you gained 40 pounds and you're stressed. You know what this means... it's Christmastime."

Engineers from the U.

S. Geological Survey surveyed some property and found that in a certain area, the New Hampshire-Maine border had to be changed. They stopped to inform a farmer that he was no longer in Maine, but in New Hampshire.

“Good,” he said. “I couldn’t take another one of those Maine winters.”

—WHITEBLAZE.NET

“Knock knock.”

“Who's there?”

“Dishes.”

“Dishes who?”

“Dishes Sean Connery.”

—Submitted by MICHAEL MIRRA Beverly, MA

What do they call roadkill in Texas?

Wheels on meals.