Can I finally stand still?

In a new city, in a new life, Caro Giles wonders if she has at last found home

- With Caro Giles

The light is the first thing I notice.

In Northumberland the skies were endless and full of potential. Even on the days when I felt trapped in its wilderness I could imagine a wider world across the sea, because the sky was so changeable. One moment powder blue, the next hung with a stubborn sea fret that concealed stony coves and seals bobbing their heads above the waves.

Now I am in the city. The kids and I have moved to a flat at the very bottom of a huge tenement building. We walk down steps to reach our front door, and from the living room we can watch legs striding along the pavement above us. The air is muted and we are tucked away from the rest of the world, although our home is right in the heart of the action. Our footsteps echo on the wooden floorboards as we tread ourselves into this strange new space.

Long thick curtains cover the blinds in my bedroom, and no oystercatchers fly above my roof, which is four floors above me. But still I seek the light.