I thought I was over my body image issues, so why did one comment send me spiralling?

Bernice Lim, principal psychologist at Asia Psychology Centre, explores the emotional layers behind body image struggles, and shares how to shift the conversation with yourself.

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Some of our most deeply held beliefs about our bodies are formed long before we realise it, in childhood and adolescence. If we grow up in environments that uphold a narrow standard of beauty, we may begin to internalise the idea that only certain body types are desirable or acceptable.

These narratives don't simply fade with time. Even as we grow and learn to celebrate our accomplishments in other areas such as education, career and relationships, the conditioning we've absorbed about our physical selves can remain firmly in place.

WHY WE SPIRAL AFTER SEEING A PHOTO OR HEARING A NEGATIVE COMMENT

When a photo or comment sends you into a spiral, what you're experiencing is often a trigger. This is a present-day reaction that activates old emotional wounds. Perhaps someone once called you chubby as a teenager, or maybe you internalised the idea that looking a certain way equates to being lovable or worthy.

So when you see an image of yourself that doesn't align with that ideal — or when someone casually points out your weight — it taps into that unprocessed shame.

Your mind interprets it as a threat, setting off a cascade of negative self-talk: “I look terrible” becomes “I'm disgusting”, which becomes “No one will want me”.

RECOGNISING WHEN BODY IMAGE STRUGGLES ARE MORE SERIOUS THAN THEY APPEAR

There's a difference between having an off day and being stuck in a harmful loop. If your self-image is starting to affect your quality of life, it's worth paying attention. Are you avoiding social events?