The Great Hearing Aids War

My husband and I love each other, but even after 43 happy years, we can also drive each other absolutely crazy

- By KRISTY DEWBERRY Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

I had just put the finishing touches on a three-minute presentation I was giving. Now to try it out on an audience.

I found Don, my newly retired husband, in his usual spot watching TV, the volume turned up. Way up. “Can you time my speech?” I asked, practically shouting.

A look of confusion crossed his face. “You want me to tie your feet?”

“What?” I snapped. “We’ve been married for 43 years. Have I ever once asked you to tie my feet?” If looks could kill, I’d be planning his funeral. No jury would convict me as long as it consisted of 12 women whose retired husbands refused to wear their hearing aids.

“Never mind. I’ll do it myself!” Back to my office I went, glad to be alone.

Two months earlier, when Don had retired from his accounting job, I’d imagined all the ways we’d grow even closer—more snuggling time, watching ing our favorite TV shows together, his amazing foot massages. I assumed Don would be interested in hearing me.

Lord knows I tried to get through to him, but he always had some excuse. Why wouldn’t he just wear the dumb things? It had me wishing he were back at the office, when we'd exchange flirty emails all day long. We'd both end our emails with lym for “love you more.” Now I felt lonely in the same house with him. His hearing aids must be feeling the same.