Block, Delete, Goodbye

The internet loves a clean break. But as more of us sever ties in the name of ‘protecting our peace’, how do we know if we’re setting healthy boundaries or curating our relationships a little too ruthlessly?

- By Jennifer Savin

When Skye* saw the WhatsApp message flash up from her younger sister, Ruby*, her hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. Her heart thumped in her chest and her breath caught in her throat. She pulled over to compose herself, realising it was time to cut Ruby off for good.

“We’ve always been polar opposites as people,” says Skye, 27, of her and her sister who is four years her junior. According to Skye, Ruby increasingly stoked drama as a teenager until “it reached a point where it was hard to spend time with [her] parents if Ruby was around.” In a bid to avoid conflict, Skye reduced her visits home.

It wasn’t just that Ruby and Skye didn’t get on. It felt to Skye that her sister was surrounded by drama, often self-inflicted. “She’d exaggerate situations for attention, or she would drink excessively and say vile things about family members. She was erratic and grinding me down, so I slowly tried to lessen contact,” says Skye. “Only then she’d fire off angry messages about how I wasn’t supportive enough.”

But when Skye realised the physical impact her sister was having on her health, and after speaking with a friend who knew them both, she realised any positives of having Ruby in her life were not outweighing the negatives. It’s been challenging, Skye caveats, especially as her mother still tries to put her in situations, such as family gatherings, where Ruby will also be in attendance without letting her know. But, for Skye, there’s no going back.