NOW THAT I RUN THE ZOO

President Donald J. Trump signed an Executive Order restoring truth and sanity to American history by revitalizing key cultural institutions. . . . The Order directs the Vice President . . . to work to eliminate improper, divisive, or anti-American ideology from the Smithsonian and its museums, education and research centers, and the National Zoo.—White House fact sheet, March 27, 2025.Dr. Seuss Enterprises . . . reviewed our catalog of titles and made the decision last year to cease publication and licensing of the following titles: And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street, If I Ran the Zoo, McElligot’s Pool, On Beyond Zebra!, Scrambled Eggs Super!, and The Cat’s Quizzer. These books portray people in ways that are hurtful and wrong.—Dr. Seuss Enterprises, March 2, 2021.

- BY PATRICIA MARX

I am Big Shot Despot—
tremendous, colossal!
My name’s on the zoo, it’s in letters
real bossful!

I’ll make it the hugest—
incredi-bling to see,
And real soon all the people will
cheer, just for me!

But zoo’s now a shithole. So sad
and so woke-y.
The pandas perform kumbaya
karaoke.

The tigers eat tofu. “Child care!”
chant kang’roos.
And the sea slugs debate the best
pronouns to use.