From pushback to progress

Influence happens not when you push your idea, but when you open the space for others'.

- ISOBEL RIMMER, AUTHOR, PRESENT WITH PRESENCE

Imagine the scene: You have just presented an idea to your boss, but they are resisting.

“Now’s not the best time,” they say, but you know it is.

“It’s not a high priority this quarter.” Yet, you can see it should be.

“Resources and budget are tight right now.” But you can show it can be done, efficiently and cost effectively.

How do you feel? Frustrated, annoyed, disappointed? Probably all of these, and most certainly not satisfied or joyful.

The more effort we put into something, the more emotionally we are attached to it. We can’t control our initial reactions when confronted with resistance or objections, but we can choose how we respond and communicate. To stay calm and persuasive under pressure, we need the right strategies. Yet, our natural, knee jerk reaction is often to persist, push back, and justify why our idea is good, which usually falls on deaf ears.

The good news? There is a better approach, and it is easy to adopt.

Remember, you can’t stop your initial reaction but you can choose your response. To do so, you need to be in the right mindset: calm, emotionally aware and rational. To relieve your frustration, breathe from your diaphragm. Inhale through your nose for a count of 4 and exhale through your mouth for a count of seven. Exhaling longer than inhaling reduces stress and cortisol, helping you regain composure.

Once we recognise resistance for what it is — a gap in understanding — we can begin to overcome it. We persuade not by ‘pushing’ or telling the other person what to do, but by ‘pulling,’ being curious and asking questions. Being right (in your view) and justifying your position rarely work.