Was I SECOND BEST?

Caron McKinlay opens up about marrying a widower whose first wife was his soulmate

- Caron McKinlay

Divorce didn't separate my husband from his first wife. She didn't choose to leave. Death tore them apart. And she was his soulmate. Finding my place in his life and accepting her has taken time. We met six years ago, following my mother's death, when I moved to England and took up a new teaching post. I was married, but my husband's gambling addiction had driven us apart. My career was successful, and I became a head teacher. The frenetic pace of work and the ongoing demands of raising two daughters, helped me cope with my mother's loss and the death of my marriage.

I now had everything I needed. And a string of unsuccessful online dating adventures persuaded me romance was something I had left behind.

Then I met Andy. He was a professor and we first met through an online discussion board on education. We shared views on the importance of learning and enjoyed fiery debates. We stayed in contact online and we soon began to share our personal lives.

Andy's wife had died of cancer a few months previously, in January 2016. By the time we met, my father was in hospital with terminal cancer. We shared our experiences, and our joint grief drew us closer. Messaging turned into calls where we would spend hours laughing, and crying. Soon we decided to meet.

He was everything I had imagined. Courteous, funny, loving and kind. The perfect gentleman, with a curious social awkwardness that endeared him to me.