Stop, In The Name Of Love!

It’s sad but true: people fall for scams every day, and it’s not just the gullible few who click on a dodgy ‘You-have-won-the-lottery link; doctors, lawyers, CEOs and successful businesspeople across the world have fallen prey to targeted scams. We take a look at the tactics of romance scammers, and how to protect yourself and the ones you love.

- Charis Torrance

By now most of us know that the heartfelt email from that poor desperate Nigerian prince pleading for a small favour is a scam. (Yes, Gran, I know he seems like a nice young man.) But people still fall for it: Popular Science reports that, in 2018, the con raked in $700 000 from Americans alone!

Other con artists have changed with the times, however, moving on to pyramid schemes, phishing scams and, often the most devastating of all, the online romance scam.

Clinical and forensic psychologist Nadya Wynchank says there are different types of romance scammers. ‘There’s the catfisher who will take on the identity of someone else to engage with someone romantically.’ Though most don’t have nefarious motives, there are also times when an ex may catfish a former partner to enact some sort of revenge.

These individuals design an online identity, creating an idealised version of themselves – more sexually attractive, more accomplished – or they might create a different version of themselves, changing their gender, sexuality, class or race. In both instances the person seeks to access connections with others that they wouldn’t feel able to create in their current state and identity. The motive is not financial gain, but emotional connection, aliveness and intimacy, both with themselves and with another, through the safety of a peephole.”

Then there are the frauds who form relationships with people online to blackmail them or procure money willingly (see our sidebar on sextortion, and the dos and don’ts of sexting).

As more and more people find themselves isolated from their family and friends due to lockdown measures, they turn to social media to find love or friendship. And scammers are happy to take advantage of them. It’s easy money.