OIL AND WATER

NOITA offers destructive sorcery action in a fun, albeit messy roguelike package.

- Luke Winkie

During one Noita run, I purchased a spell modifier I didn’t fully understand. One of the core ideas in this roguelike is that you can alter your magic wands, becoming a true arcane master with clever min-maxing. But there’s no safety net if your experimentation goes awry, or if you’re not paying attention. When I next pointed my wand at a wall and clicked, a giant razorblade shot out, cranked a U-turn and ploughed into my wizard. Dead.

After doing my research, I believe the modifier I attached to that wand was called ‘boomerang’, and according to the greater Noita community, it’s pretty much useless unless paired with various healing spells. That’s the thing with Noita: even the power-ups are conspiring to kill you.

There was a time, in the ice caves, where I found a wand that had an ability called ‘unstable crystal’ on it. I pulled the trigger and immediately exploded, provoking another game over. I’ve accidentally polymorphed myself too many times to count. I’ve self-immolated, I’ve detonated explosive barrels that I didn’t see until it was too late, and I’ve drowned in a vat full of whiskey. But despite all of those mishaps, I think Noida is one of the best roguelikes of the year (a year with Spelunky 2 and