Ray Addison's Real Life

Male Grooming? I’m A Convert. But Don’t Expect Me To Enjoy Talking About It...

- Ray Addison

“How did you manage to grow such a lovely beard?” The 50-something stranger asked, staring at my facial fauna like a thirsty man at a glass of water. “I need some advice, ‘cos I can’t do anything with this,” he said, pulling at his struggling stubble.

I’d be lying if I said that I hadn’t been expecting this. You see, my beard is glorious. It makes men jealous in the same way as an expensive car. I don’t have a Ferrari, but if you’ve got a terrible beard, you’ll gasp at mine as I roll past you in my rented KIA.

There had been a general consensus at the start of the evening that the women should sit on one side of the table and the men on the other. This decision was ostensibly made so that us fell As could talk about more macho stuff. What actually happened was the girls hit the dance floor and we ended up discussing, in hushed tones, male grooming for the over 40s.