The Eating Disorder: Nobody Talks About

Gripped by a dangerous eating disorder, Cara Davis was bingeing on 30 000kJ a day. Here she reveals how she transformed her life

- Kristina Beanland; Deborah Riseley

We all have those days when we don’t eat as healthily as we should. Maybe you have an extra biscuit with your cup of tea, a few squares of chocolate at your desk at work. But not so long ago, when I felt my willpower waiver, I’d gorge on whole cakes, an entire loaf of bread and multiple packets of chips – and no matter how full I was, I just kept going. As a child, I was chubby and even though my parents told me it was puppy fat, I only got bigger in my teens. I had a sweet tooth, so I’d spend my pocket money on sweets. I knew I was heavier than other girls my age; while my friends wore crop tops, I hid my shape in baggy dresses. So self-conscious, I was just 14 when I started counting kilojoules. I’d pack a salad for school lunch but, while my intentions were good, it never lasted. In the following years, I tried countless diets – from Atkins and juicing to taking pills to suppress my appetite. I’d lose a few kilos, but then I’d give in to my cravings and put it all back on.

When I went to varsity in 2005, aged 19, I was 83kg. Then, in 2006, a friend suggested that I try meal replacements. She explained that by drinking shakes instead of eating meals, I’d cut my kilojoule intake to 2 500kJ a day, losing large amounts of weight in a short time. Willing to try anything, I signed up. Immediately, my weight plummeted – I lost 5kg in the first week. Friends complimented me on my new shape and when my boyfriend, Zack*, came to visit, he hardly recognised me. Six weeks later, I’d shrunk from a size 16 to a 12. I was doing so well that, three months after starting the diet, having shed almost 20kg, I reasoned that I could treat myself. So I bought a chocolate. As I ate the first bite, it was like I was trying chocolate for the first time – I’d forgotten how delicious it was! And within seconds