Brace For Impact

"Heads up! Hey, hey...HEY!"

- Steve West

I’m faced with making a split-second decision: take the high road and a possible collision, or bail out into the flats. Never one to bail, I try to squeak up and over a kooky-looking guy wearing a bright red helmet. He’s not even looking as he’s dropping in on me.

Racing down the line at full speed, I try to avoid running right over him, but he ends up dead center in my cross-hairs. I declare a Code Red and brace for impact. Somehow, I just miss hitting him—but not his rented longboard. A big, heavy longboard. One that T-bones my rail with a loud crack. After the crash, we both come to the surface sputtering. He’s clueless and confused. I’m pissed. My new board is dinged and starts to lap up water faster than a big dog on a hot summer day. Helmet-man is left alone, extolling the virtues of head protection while I make a bee-line for dry land with a busted-up stick.

If surfing is the sport of kings, surfing in a crowd is the sport of dings

Board biffs come in all forms: big ones, little ones, dings that aren’t your fault, and dings that could’ve been avoided. All boards ding, but standup boards tend to get banged around a lot due to their size.

Unlike my mishap, the majority of damage happens out of the water. Which ding story sounds better?