Helping A Friend Through A Break-Up

A relationship break-up can require a lot of support, with friends often the first people involved in the healing process. Read some of the ways you can help a friend through a split.

- Samantha Allenmann

When her boyfriend of six years called time on their relationship, despite it being a fairly amicable split, Elise Baldwin struggled to find the words for what she was feeling. “Especially the guilt and shame about being dumped — that was really hard to talk about,” she says.

Fortunately, Baldwin received lots of support from her friends and family, but that’s not always the case. Dean Talbot was also in a six-year relationship; however, he was the one who broke it off. He shared many mutual friends with his ex-girlfriend Anna and says he didn’t receive much support when the relationship ended.

“I was distraught, confused and maybe a little numb,” Talbot says. “I still loved Anna but as a close friend, not a romantic lover. I didn’t want to hurt her but knew that I had to for my own happiness, so I ended the relationship like I was tearing off a Band-Aid. Most of our friends either took a neutral stance, not wanting to get involved, or thought I was a bit of a jerk for breaking up with her so suddenly.”

Provide unconditional support

It’s not uncommon for the person who ends the relationship to receive less support, especially when the couple share friends. However, psychologist Donna Cameron says that both parties experience grief and loss, regardless of who ended things.