Going Solo

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‘I wasn’t afraid to be a single parent – not having a partner didn’t have to stand in the way of me adopting a child’ Donna Msiska, 38, is an accountant and lives with her son Tapola, two, and sister Ruby in Randburg. She adopted Tapola in 2016 and is raising him on her own.

For a long time I had other priorities like buying a house, paying off my car and excelling in my job before I even considered starting a family. But I had known since I was 16 that I would one day want to adopt. In high school I was involved in an awareness campaign about the number of orphaned children in SA in need of homes, and it changed the way I saw motherhood. Already in my thirties – and having achieved all that I wanted, but with two failed relationships behind me – I thought, ‘There’s nothing standing in my way of being a single parent... why not?’. Even though I had no particular interest in ever meeting Mr Right, that didn’t necessarily mean that my dream of adopting had to be put on hold.

THE DECISION

Adoption is a huge responsibility and some nights I’d lie awake wondering if I was making the right decision. Could I love another person’s child as my own? Would I be a good mother? Could I really do this alone? I mulled over the decision for ages before making up my mind, but in 2013 I decided the time was right, and I wanted to go ahead with the adoption.

I made enquiries through an adoption agency, but things didn’t work out, as the social worker who I’d been in touch with ended up leaving the agency. I instead turned to a private social worker for help. We clicked immediately and I told her I ideally wanted to adopt a little girl younger than six months old, but that I was also willing to consider a boy or girl under a year.