'I Lost Weight And Became More Insecure'

When Sanya* did something about the excess weight that had been giving her grief since she was a teenager, she thought all her problems would melt away with it...

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It all started when I was 14. Before then, I was all long limbs and overalls (what’s good, 2001!), running around paying zero attention to my body. Then puberty properly hit—you know, the bit after you get your period where your entire body goes from beanpole to curvaceous woman? My tiny, kid-size hips blew out to a Size 10, my boobs started budding, and sporty one-pieces made way for bikinis. I ‘pubertied’ until I was around a Size 12. From then on, I was unhappy with my body. I know— Size 12 is super normal. But as I’m sure many of you reading this can relate to, I had completely bought into the lie that being petite and under a Size 8 was the only way to be beautiful.

It was when I started a desk job at 25 that my body image issues really started to skyrocket. I’d been living the part-time retail life of food court lunches, but being on my feet all day meant all that McDonald’s was getting burnt off at a regular pace. My weight didn’t fluctuate at all. That changed once I was sitting at a desk 9-5. Gradually, over three years, my size went from a Size 12 to a Size 16.

At the same time, my on/off ex broke up with me for good. I was thrown into the online dating world that had developed over the three years we were together, and had a string of three-dates-then ghost kind of guys. Work was going brilliantly.